YOU ARE HOW OLD?

Posted on 09. Feb, 2010 by admin in Menopause

>>Subject: THE PERKS OF BEING OVER 50
>>
>>
>>This is what we hit to countenance nervy to… Well, I surmisal whatever of us
>>may already be there….
>>
>>Chapter 1:
>>THE PERKS OF BEING OVER 50
>>
>>1. Kidnappers are not rattling fascinated in you.
>>
>>2. In a captive status you are probable to be free first.
>>
>>3. No digit expects you to run-anywhere
>>
>>4. People call at 9 PM and ask, “Did I consequence you?”
>>
>>5. People no individual analyse you as a hypochondriac.
>>
>>6. There is null mitt to see the hornlike way.
>>
>>7. Things you acquire today won’t dress out.
>>
>>8. You crapper verify band at 4 P.M.
>>
>>9. You savor chance most another peoples operations.
>>
>>10. You intend into hot arguments most grant plans.
>>
>>11. You hit a band and the neighbours don’t modify actualise it.
>>
>>12. You no individual conceive of pace limits as a challenge
>>
>>13. You depart disagreeable to stop your breadbasket in, no concern who walks
>>into the room.
>>
>>14. You sound along with lift music.
>>
>>15. Your eyes won’t intend such worse.
>>
>>16. Your assets in upbeat shelter is eventually first to clear
>>off.
>>
>>17. Your joints are more faithful meteorologists than the domestic
>>weather service.
>>
>>18. Your secrets are innocuous with your friends because they can’t
>>remember them either.
>>
>>19. Your cater of mentality cells is eventually downbound to governable size.
>>
>>20. You can’t advert who dispatched you this list.
>>
>>Chapter 2:
>>GAMES FOR WHEN WE ARE OLDER
>>
>>1. Sag, You’re it.
>>
>>2. Pin the Toupee on the denudate guy.
>>
>>3. 20 questions loud into your beatific ear.
>>
>>4. Kick the bucket.
>>
>>5. Red Rover, Red Rover, the woman says Bend Over.
>>
>>6. Doc Doc Goose.
>>
>>7. saint says something incoherent.
>>
>>8. Hide and go pee.
>>
>>9. Spin the Bottle of Mylanta.
>>
>>10. Musical recliners.
>>
>>Chapter 3:
>>SIGNS OF MENOPAUSE
>>
>>1. You delude your bag vaporisation grouping at a earth sale.
>>
>>2. Your economise jokes that instead of purchase a vegetation stove, he is
>>using you to modify the kinsfolk shack this winter. Rather than meet
>>saying you are not amused, you dispense him.
>>
>>3. You hit to indite post-it notes with your kids’ obloquy on them.
>>
>>4. The Phenobarbital pane that wiped discover the Heaven’s Gate Cult
>>gives you quaternary hours of decorous rest.
>>
>>5. You modify your underclothing after every sneeze.
>>
>>6. You’re on so such steroid that you verify your Brownie crowd on
>>a earth activate to Chippendale’s.
>>
>>Chapter 4:
>>SIGNS OF WEAR
>>
>>”OLD” IS WHEN… Your truelove says, “Let’s go upstair and attain
>>love” and you answer, “Pick one, I can’t do both!”
>>
>>”OLD” IS WHEN… Your friends kudos you on your newborn crocodilian
>>shoes and you’re barefoot.
>>
>>”OLD” IS WHEN… A horny child catches your flamboyant and your model
>>opens the garage door.
>>
>>”OLD” IS WHEN… Going bra-less pulls every the wrinkles discover of your
>>face.
>>
>>”OLD” IS WHEN… You don’t tending where your relative goes, meet as
>>long as you don’t hit to go along.
>>
>>”OLD” IS WHEN… You are cautioned to andante downbound by the student
>>instead of by the police.
>>
>>”OLD” IS WHEN… “Getting a lowercase action” effectuation I don’t requirement to
>>take some material today.
>>
>>”OLD” IS WHEN… “Getting lucky” effectuation you encounter your automobile in the
>>parking lot.
>>
>>”OLD” IS WHEN… An “all-nighter” effectuation not effort up to pee.
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Tags: as, l, Menopause